Call me "invisible"
When really, we're invincible.
Today, I heard someone say they had been called "invisible" because of their age.
And I had to laugh.
Because, truth is, in midlife we’re only invisible to people who can’t sell us sh*t anymore.
We’re invisible to the marketers pushing wrinkle creams, the real estate agents dangling overpriced beachfront properties, the algorithms serving up desperate ads for "hot singles in your area."
We’re invisible to those who need us to be insecure—because a confident, self-assured person is the worst kind of customer.
But if we’re talking about real life? We’re not invisible at all.
We’re free.
We’ve been to the puppet show
There’s a scene in Jerry Maguire (one of my favorite flicks) where Rod Tidwell says:
"They have been to the circus, you know what I'm saying? They have been to the puppet show and they have seen the strings."
That’s us in midlife.
We’ve seen how the world operates. We know how the game is played.
We’ve seen the 20-somethings chase careers that will eat them alive.
We’ve seen people buy sh*t they don’t need to impress people they don’t even like.
We’ve seen dating apps turn human connection into a marketing funnel.
And we’re just not impressed anymore.
We’ve spent enough years getting sold to, talked down to, and told what to do.
And now, we get to opt out.
Can’t sell me anything
Capitalism thrives on your dissatisfaction.
It’s a culture that wraps its whole strategy around getting you to lower your price of admission, because it is bankrupt at its f*ing core.
The younger you are, the easier it is to sell you the idea that something is missing.
You’re not beautiful enough. Buy this cream.
You’re not successful enough. Work harder.
You’re not desirable enough. Change yourself.
Midlife kills that noise.
Because when you love your body for what it is, anti-aging brands panic.
When you’re content in your home, luxury realtors lose a customer.
When you’ve built a life that fulfills you, industries selling "escapes" go bankrupt.
You can’t sell insecurity to someone who isn’t insecure.
The stuff they’re selling, we don’t need. And the stuff we do need, we find other people can’t give us.
Algorithms get hilariously confused, throwing all sorts of randomness at us.
We become…invisible.
We don’t need validation
A funny thing happens in midlife.
We stop needing to be seen by everyone.
Because we’ve already found what really matters.
If you’ve built a life you love, you don’t need to "prove" anything.
If you’re happy with your own company, you don’t need constant attention.
If you know your worth, you don’t need strangers to validate it.
And people who can’t manipulate you hate that.
The red-pill punks who preach that a woman’s value "expires" at 30?
They’re just mad they can’t cheapen you to yourself.
The beauty industry that spent decades convincing you that wrinkles = irrelevance?
They have no clue what to do when you embrace aging instead of fearing it.
But we’re not invisible, we’re just unbothered.
We’re done running from ourselves
Another thing they can’t sell you anymore? Escape.
Because by midlife, you’re done running from yourself.
You’ve already lived enough life to realize that:
No bottle of wine fixes a sh*tty reality.
No vacation erases a life you secretly hate.
No "self-care splurge" replaces deep self-worth.
You’ve made peace with yourself.
You’ve done the work, faced the hard truths, and started shaping a life that actually feels good to live in.
So alcohol, cigarettes, fast fashion, and every other distraction-based industry loses you.
Which, again, makes you invisible to the ones who profit off your pain.
But not to the people who truly matter.
Clarity is the real magic trick
Far from fading into irrelevance, midlife is when we finally start seeing clearly.
We know who we are.
We’re figuring out why we’re here.
And we’re damn sure about how we want to spend our time.
That’s real visibility.
Not the kind that comes from a perfectly curated Instagram feed.
Not the kind that comes from being marketable, desirable, or "on-trend."
The kind that comes from being fully present in your own life.
That kind of visibility?
It doesn’t fade with age.
It gets brighter.
So let them call us invisible
Let them believe that youth = power.
Let them chase validation, external approval, and things they don’t actually want.
Meanwhile, you?
You’re over here building a life that doesn’t require outside validation to feel good.
And once you figure it out, you can’t be sold back into the illusion.
You’re not invisible.
You’re invincible.
What if you’re not feeling invincible?
Being invisible to advertisers, to social media, to the nonsense that society tries to sell you? That’s a superpower.
But feeling unseen, or unheard, in the places that actually matter—your relationships, your workplace, your community? That’s different.
That kind of invisibility can sting.
Because no matter how strong, independent, or self-assured we are, we still want to be seen. We still want to matter.
So what do you do when you start feeling like you’re fading into the background? When it feels like no one notices, no one listens, and no one really sees you?
Step 1: Ask yourself, ‘Who am I trying to be seen by?’
Before assuming invisibility is the problem, check who you’re trying to be visible to.
Are you feeling unseen at work?
By your partner?
In your friendships?
In the world at large?
Or are you expecting to be seen by people who never valued you in the first place?
Sometimes, you’re standing in front of the wrong audience.
So take a step back:
Who does make you feel seen?
Where do you feel valued, heard, and appreciated?
Are you focusing too much energy on the places that don’t?
Not everyone is meant to recognize your magic.
That doesn’t mean your magic isn’t real.
Step 2: Make sure you’re not disappearing on yourself
Sometimes when we feel invisible, it’s because we’ve stopped showing up for ourselves.
Are you still speaking up?
Are you still taking up space?
Are you still bringing your full self to the table?
Or have you slowly, quietly, started shrinking?
It’s easy to blame the world for not seeing us.
But sometimes, we are the ones fading out of our own lives.
Check in:
Have I been expressing what I want?
Have I let my own voice get quieter?
Am I waiting for others to give me space instead of claiming it myself?
You can’t control how others respond.
But you can control how fully you show up.
Step 3: Stop waiting for permission to be seen
If you’re waiting for an invitation to step forward—to be noticed, heard, or valued—you might be waiting forever.
Midlife gives you a gift: the realization that you don’t need permission anymore.
Invite yourself to the tables that matter:
Speak up in meetings, even if no one asks.
Share your thoughts, even if they feel inconvenient.
Put your name in for the opportunity, even if you think they’ll overlook you.
If you’re waiting for someone else to decide you’re important enough to be noticed, you’re handing over your power.
Decide that for yourself.
Step 4: Create your own visibility
If the spaces you’re in don’t see you, it might be time to create new ones.
Find the rooms where people value what you bring.
Seek out the people who light up when you speak.
Build spaces where you are fully seen, not tolerated.
This might mean:
Seeking out new friendships that align with who you are now.
Creating your own community instead of waiting for one to find you.
Changing careers, environments, or roles to step into something bigger.
Some rooms will never make space for you.
You don’t have to stay in them.
Step 5: Remember visibility isn’t always loud
Being seen doesn’t always mean being the loudest person in the room.
Some of the most powerful people move in silence.
They don’t need constant recognition to know they matter.
They don’t rely on external validation to feel real.
They know that what they’re building—their life, their presence, their work—speaks for itself.
You don’t have to prove your worth to be worthy.
You don’t have to demand recognition to be valuable.
You are here.
You matter.
And the right people? They see you.
Even if they haven’t said it yet.
When you feel invisible, take your power back
Feeling unseen isn’t a dead end—it’s a signal.
A signal to:
✔ Shift your energy toward the right people.
✔ Show up fully for yourself.
✔ Stop waiting for permission.
✔ Create new spaces where your presence is valued.
✔ Remember that you don’t need to be loud to matter.
You have room to clearly see yourself. You don’t need anyone else’s eyes for this. You know who you are.
And that power is what makes you invincible.