Fitness is NOT a Tool for Self-Harm
You can’t hate yourself into self-improvement.
Exercise is not punishment for past choices, it’s celebration for the choices you can still make.
I remember one time I was on a fairly strict diet, and was exercising moderately. And I remember how much eating felt like a revelation – even a salad tasted phenomenally good.
I knew that my activity levels, and having cleared all the junk out of my system, had done a lot to reset my brain chemistry. So I could taste and enjoy real, nutritious food again.
Fast forward several years later. My diet wasn’t quite so strict, I was paying more attention to the macro-nutritional balance of what I was eating. But I was exercising more strenuously, and because my calories weren’t so restricted, I was able to push harder and do more at the gym.
And I felt that same thing: eating was more enjoyable, but for different reasons. I felt like I was replenishing my stores, feeding a higher metabolism, thanking my body for all the ways it was becoming stronger, more resilient.
And in turn, my workout became more like a celebration of my ability to push beyond my current limits, and find a new self that I liked (and most importantly, liked me back).
There are a lot of people who look at exercise and diet very differently, however.
These people tend to eat sensibly for the most part. But when a friend asks them out for pizza, or a 7 year old niece wants to celebrate her birthday with cake and ice cream…bad things happen.
They’ll go one of two different ways.
Either they’ll skip the pizza date entirely, and turn down the cake at the birthday, and then end up hating themselves for it all so they end up face down in a pint of ice cream that night…
Or they’ll enjoy the treats as best as they can, while counting all the calories so they know how much self-hatred to bring with them next time they get on the scale. And then run themselves on the treadmill until they puke.
NONE of the above options is healthy. But like all tools, both diet and exercise can be used for good and for ill.
Exercise is not a weapon with which to commit self-harm. And food should never be consumed in regret – talk about “junk food”.
This is why exercise is something most reasonably able-bodied people are encouraged to do: it is an active form of bodily compassion, feeling our bodies and all they can do.
A deeply focused workout is a conversation we have with our physical selves, wherein we see ourselves as we are. And we reach for all the fun and challenging ways we can enrich our body to make it stronger, more balanced and resilient.
(That’s also why an intense but mindful workout doesn’t need to take long, which knocks out one of our favorite excuses for why we don’t do it.)
But the knuckle-headed gym bros use some crazy language about fitness. “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” “Sweat is fat crying.” And then wonder why they can’t keep up with any fitness regimen past 2 months.
It’s simple: you get sick of abusing yourself. Don’t talk trash about your body and then expect it to do wondrous things for you.
Likewise, eating is how we fuel our body for all that it does – working, playing, loving, resting, celebrating. Diet should not be something consumed in regret, self-hatred, sadness, because these are energies we are actively taking into ourselves when we do so.
As happy (or at least well-balanced) people, we tend to make better choices for ourselves all around.
This includes all forms of “diet” – what we eat, drink, read, watch, people we hang out with, music we listen to. Diet isn’t just about where you are, but where you’d like to be, what you want to feel.
And for us with active lifestyles, food is replenishing and restorative, and even preparative. (Ever known you’ve got a long, fun day ahead of you, so you ate a hearty breakfast? Or eaten a quick PBJ sandwich to carb up for a workout?)
Life in a physical body is meant to be a life of joy and connectedness, not punishment and pain.
We are made to push our comfort zones to become all that we’d like to be, and then to rest. To enjoy all things of sense, and then to go within so we can see and feel…everything else within and around us.
As a follow-up to the salad earlier, food can be amazing, but the right types and amounts of exercise can make your blood sing too. I was just enjoying some good cardio time with a brisk walk, but with the weather cooling I decided to gig it up into a light jog.
After just 15 minutes of alternating between walking and jogging, the extra oxygen hit my brain, as well as the endorphin rush. My legs started getting tired, and I was sweating a lot, but it was like I could feel my bones singing, “I was born for this.”
Life is too short to make choices that harm your body, your heart, your mind. Especially when the good choices can feel so very good.
So have a good look at your diet and activity choices, and ask yourself:
- Being honest with yourself, what do you enjoy eating? How does your body feel after eating those things? If there are things you like eating that don’t sit well, can you find healthier choices that taste good AND feel good?
- If there are things you like to eat that aren’t great for you, do you know why you eat them? (I’m no saint here, I get evil cravings sometimes. For me, these cravings usually erupt from sour relations with my thoughts and feelings. Stress, self-doubt, fatigue, etc.)
- What kind of thoughts go through your mind while you eat? Do you pay attention to what you put in your mouth, or is eating usually something you do mindlessly on the way to something else? Try to eat mindfully and really smell, taste, feel your food as it goes in your body. Draw your attention to your thoughts and feelings as you eat.
- Exercise can be as simple as walking the long way around at the office, opting for stairs instead of the elevator, etc. Or as strenuous as seeing how fast you can walk before you have to jog, and lifting as much as you can for 5 repetitions in a row. With 1 being a light walk to the mailbox, and 10 leaving you sweaty and gasping for breath: what level of activity makes you feel great after 30 minutes of it?
- With this rating in mind, how often are you able to reach this level of activity during an average week? Would you like to get more of this exercise into your schedule, and if so what are some things you can shift in your life to do so?
- When physical activity feels good, what cues do you get from your body and mind that make you feel good? Do you encounter any mental blocks against being as active as you’d like, and if so, what are they? Where do you think they come from?
Celebrate your body – it works hard for you day and night. Like any good machinery, feed and maintain it well!
Enjoyed this read, EC! I like the nuance you bring!