The Adversary: The Dark Angel on Your Shoulder
I didn’t think I believed in a devil. I’m convinced now that the devil sure as hell believes in me.
I know this force in my life, and I see it in countless others’ lives as well. I call it the Adversary.
The Adversary distracts me from the things I need to do, with other things I think I need to do. Which is tempting because they’re so much more fun, they take less time, and they make it easier for me to feel like I’ve accomplished something.
It feeds me serotonin for saying I’m going to do things (and then quietly never following through with them).
Further on that point, it keeps me from taking action by showing me all these other things I need to learn first. “You don’t want to go out there blindly with no authority, right? Take more time before you do something — here, sign up for another class instead.”
The Adversary tells me about all the bad things that could happen if I go down that important road. If I have that scary conversation, if I invest in that difficult and expensive training, if I post that soul-exposing article.
It justifies these lies with comforting thoughts of how much more safe, secure and content I am now that I avoided that road for one more day.
The Adversary charms me with music so good, I don’t want to shut it off so I can review that video I need to watch and learn from. Aesthetics have always been a weakness of mine.
The Adversary insists I have time. “Live to fight another day”, it says. “Go binge a favorite show instead.”
The Adversary…is me. You. It lives in all of us.
“Adversary” is an accurate honorific. It is the worthy opponent, capable of an equal and opposite force to all we seek to be and accomplish.
It exists because we do. I’ve come to realize, its whole purpose is to point us to exactly what we need to be doing, by throwing at us every reason in the book why not to do it.
Like a reverse compass that points South instead of North, it is the Jungian “shadow” cast as the dark angel that points out to us all the excuses and stories we tell ourselves to keep us from seeing our Light.
Think of it. There is no resistance to eating that whole cake, relaxing on the couch, avoiding our studies, putting off those big responsibilities. We revert to these things because they’re easy to do when we’re not entirely sure of what our next important step is.
Now, think back to the last time you had to do an important but stressful interview. Or you needed to have a tough conversation with your child or a close friend when you felt the need to call out some troublesome patterns you saw in their behavior.
Instant blow back before you could even begin, right? Fear, judgment, self-doubt, the list goes on.
There is resistance to the things that need to be done, to show us that this is where our real work lies. If you’re scared of it, always finding an excuses why not to do it, then it’s highly likely this is specifically what you are being called onto the carpet to do.
The beauty part is, once the Adversary is recognized and named, 90% of its power is neutralized. Like the bad guy in the Scooby Doo cartoons, once the enemy has a face and a name, the gig is up.
Who actually likes to be told “No you can’t!” “No, you don’t have the guts, and you never will.” “No, you will fail at this, so don’t bother.” When you get used to recognizing that voice, it makes you want to swing at something every time you hear it.
My most empowering moments have been when I’ve heard my Adversary tell me I can’t, and I have answered in action. “Watch me.”
My Adversary got its first big reveal to me when I read Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art. And I highly recommend it to you. It’s a short read, but a powerful one. I read it all the way through, and it lit me on fire — today, I pick a random page from it each day to keep the fire burning.
Where do you find your Adversary screams at you the loudest? What work have you been putting off to better your mind, your world, your family, your career?
Call it out. Write it all down, and stare it in the face. Befriend it, because it is here to show you your direction when you feel none.
Next time it tries to back you into a corner and breathe on your glasses “You can’t. You won’t.” Respond to your new friend:
“Watch me.”
Love it. Well written. The adversary - what a great label! Bryan Johnson the health billionaire behind "Don't Die" talks about "the rascal". His rascal would have him eat whatever it wanted and be fat sick and miserable. His choice is to give it no choices. All the choices were handed over to his "team of experts" and his data. Without that team and data - we have to choose, to be mindful and vigilant. However, your point that the adversary can be repurposed into a guide - is brilliant ;)
Great article! I love the Advesary! Without them we wouldn't reach the things that we do. Keep going. It gets stronger sometimes but that is because we get stronger. I call mine Resistance.