When Your Inner Child is Your Best Teacher

Reach for the hard stuff!

“It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great.” -League of Their Own, 1992

I'm remembering that when I was a kid, I knew this innately.

Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash

I loved math in school, because I wasn't a natural at it.

I cried over math homework so much, because no one could make it make sense to me. Multiplication tables were a foreign language to me.

Grammar? I was editing other kids' papers for them. Spelling? I was best speller at two different schools I went to.

I realize now that I had no respect for writing because, for as difficult as it was for so many other kids, it was a joke to me.

The math...I kept testing and failing at.

It didn't take long before it became clear to me that there was something on the other side of that locked door. Because they KEPT testing me for it.

(In hindsight, I know that "gifted" assessments test you specifically on math if you show any sign of potential in any academic area. Because the people who create these programs...are not gifted, we'll say that.)

Fast-forward to today: I do payroll processing for a 9-to-5 living, and am working toward a bookkeeping certification.

My livelihood is in dealing with numbers all day, and I scoff at people who can't figure out how many hours they worked in a day.

But what was called a "gift" for words and writing, for reading and vocabulary when I was a kid, was left to rot on the vine.

Because I was born with it. (Not really, I was just a voracious reader because I was alone a lot.)

And because there's not a lot of emphasis on "career readiness", when you're graphing sentences and drilling vocabulary.

And now I wish I could fish that young, wordy writer out of the dark and encourage her on that path. Because I've lost so much of her skills.

I need her, but I willfully forgot her, because she was never recognized for what came easily to her. Not even by me.

Thankfully, this has had the result of instilling in my 43-year-old self a particular taste.

A taste not for gift, but for GRIT.

For blood and sweat, for difficulty.

I see it in my work, as I apply all those math operations I had such a hard time with before (yes, even algebra!).

I see it in the learning I pursue. The strenuous workouts I'm "barely surviving" (but still doing 3 times).

And it's like carving marble, but the results are showing. Like I knew they would.

The hard IS what makes us great. It's how we willfully create ourselves.

How we heal from childhood in a world that tried to tell us what we were, before we were strong enough to talk back.

Lean in to the hard. This is how you bridge the gap between where you are, and the future that beckons you forward.

Photo by NEOM on Unsplash

Ask yourself:

-What have you given up on because you were told it just "wasn't your strong point"? What did you opt for instead?

-What came easy for you when you were younger, and what did you do with it? Did you give it up because it wasn't valued? What was your relationship to this gift or knack?

-What values, talents, and skills do you have today because you needed to work for them a bit harder than the rest of your peers? Do you love that work today, or do you have regrets?

Reach back and give that kid a big squeeze, in your mind. They did a lot to get you where you are today, with no idea of what a wonder they would become.